Sunday, December 10, 2006

My Outburst

Dear mom,

I will not apologize for my outburst, because I truly felt that it was
wrong for you to go on this idiotic fasting thing. To me, it's not
even a thing to discover - it's simply an absurd and idiotic idea that
shouldn't even be considered. People here in Canada can live well
without having to go on such absurd ideas; why do you have to do that?
I'd say it's risky, you've got pressure from the rest of the group,
and you'd be wrecking up yourself over nothing. My word on it: It's

And about Evan, if you say that whether he fails in life or succeeds
in life is entirely up to him, then why do you have confidence in your
own method working? What will it work for? What result will it
produce, if it works? I still don't get it. And by suggesting that he
come over to Canada so that I can take care of him completely misses
the point. You know for a fact that unless I quit my studies, I won't
be able to support him here. Additionally, if I quit my studies, what
am I to do to fulfil my potential for the world, for Canada, and for
our family in the future? I felt that the suggestion was 100% inane,
and that you said it in a moment of madness, and should never have
mentioned it.

Perhaps I should never have cared about what goes on in Singapore to
ask Evan and you about what goes on at home, right? Should I still
bother asking? Or in the future, shall I just report to you what goes
on here, without having to stress myself over the family situation in
Singapore? Shall I? Do you really want that? If you do, just tell me,
so that I can put my mind to rest on this issue. Because I realized
that each time I care about something in the family, it will run
contrary to what you want to do. So I'm starting to think that if you
know exactly what you're doing, perhaps then I shouldn't ask about
things at home, and question the things that you do. Maybe I should
just shut up about such stuff, and happily continue with my studies in
bliss, right? Then I wouldn't have to feel 100% f***** over for my
exams and care about these things, isn't it? Then you would have a
peace of mind too, knowing that you don't have to get challenged on
your actions. Then everybody would be happy, living in ignorance of
the reality that lies behind the facade.

I ask because I care. But if I shouldn't be asking, because it'll
always result in my outbursts and your getting mad and Evan suffering
in between, then please tell me so. Tell me, so that I can live in
bliss here in Vancouver, just having to report to you what I do,
without bothering about you and Evan in Singapore. If you want it that
way, tell me, so that in future, you'll hear all the good and bad news
from me, and you'll never have to get me incensed over the stuff you

Tell me.


1 comment:

Guan said...

Hey Eric.. i don't know what's happening between you and your mum, but juz want to say hang in there.. things will work out eventually. It's just a little rough patch now, but believe that the patch will be smoothened out ok? Everything's good here in S'pore.. the girls are having hols and the guys will be having their x'mas break from army. Jiayou!